*spoiler alert--there is a small CubeSpace update at the end of this post*

David and I have been somewhat incommunicado for the past month while we recovered from the emotional impact of closing CubeSpace.  Getting out of Portland for a while was key in our recovery process.  David and I owe a very heartfelt thanks to Stephanie Wagner and her husband Andy for loaning us their house in Bend. We also owe tremendous thanks to our longtime friends Lynn and Rosy for loaning us their condo on the coast.  Lastly, I owe many thanks to Jamie and Brian who invited me to join David (who was officiating) for their wedding on Mt. Rainier this past weekend. It was a perfect end to our much needed break.

Right now David and I are trying to home in on our next move.  This is harder than one might think because trying to align skills, interests, opportunities and needs is a delicate balancing act.  For me, there is the gap between what I love to do and what I can get paid to do. I am completely clear on what I would do if I were to suddenly become independently wealthy and could do whatever I wanted with my time. I would continue working to shape public policy on economic development and microbusinesses in Portland. I would also continue working to raise the visibility of Portland's open source, mobile & technology community's contribution to the local economy. 

Then there is the question of whether I remain a solo consultant (maximum flexibility, but no health insurance), join a consulting firm (less flexibility, but possible access to health insurance) or try to work from within local government (the least flexibility, but with access to health insurance). I find myself vacillating between these options several times daily.

David faces his own set of challenges, particularly around language.  David can very clearly articulate what he wants to do.  He wants to work with corporations who are wanting to create an internal values-based culture, from idea to implementation. Unfortunately for him, there exists no commonly understood job title nor professional category that conveys what he does.  He also wants to continue doing the individual leadership development and mentorship that he enjoys so much.

Many people have asked us to send them our resumes so they could help in our job searches. We are very appreciate of their offers and I have attached our resumes to this post.

Gratefully, our staff have landed on their feet.  Beth just got a job working for Reductive Labs, a company that develops open source sysadmin software.  They just moved their company here from Tennesee.  Emily is pleased to have more time to work on her Family Trunk Project, and will have her first trunk show at Windsor Button, in Boston, on August 29th. Robin has been keeping herself busy doing WordPress work (including a redesign of the CubeSpace site).  She is facing the perennial challenge of all freelancers in being too busy to market herself, but needing to get more work into the pipeline. She will happily accept new clients and you can reach her at robincatesby [at] gmail [dot] com.

At long last, the promised CubeSpace update:

We have not given up trying to resuscitate CubeSpace (at the moment it seems that we are only "mostly dead," so there is hope yet).  We have looked at a couple of spaces, but they have not worked out for a variety of reasons.  This morning I was given a lead on a potentially promising space.  We are not counting any chickens right now, but we are keeping a close eye on the eggs.

I promised our members that I would post a link to the loving CubeSpace tribute video that Igal Koshevoy and Reid Beels made for our sponsor slot for Ignite Portland 6.  Reid also made the CubeSpace sponsor video for Ignite Portland 5. He did so despite us collectively ignoring his instructions and doing our best to stay off topic.

The good news is that we are still in negotiations with US Bank. The bad news is that means we need to maintain our radio silence for a bit longer.

As those of you who have seen either David or myself in the past week have all commented, we are worn out. The emotional limbo is very wearing and we passed the limp noodle stage several days ago.  I think it is fair to say that the only thing keeping us upright these days is the love and support we have been receiving from the community. 

So please bear with us a little longer and we will continue to post updates as we are able.

Warmly,

Eva & David

First off, Eva and I want to express our deep gratitude to the community for all you are doing for us. We aren't out of the woods yet, but thanks to all of you, we're on a path.

We posted yesterday's letter to the community at 12:30. By 2:30, we had not one, but two offers from US Bank.  One is an offer for us to buy our way out of the lease (for an amount that might be workable for us), and the second a reduced rate on the lease for the coming year. We believe that the firestorm of activity you all provoked brought them to the table. 

Eva and I have not yet decided what we want to/need to do. There are a lot of issues for us to weigh. Prime among them is the outpouring of support we are feeling from all of you. We are humbled by the donations you all are making. We are overwhelmed  by the statements you are making telling us (and others) how much CubeSpace matters to you, and what a difference we've made in your lives over the past 2.5 years. 

Thank you all so much, and we will absolutely continue to post progress reports here and on twitter. 

You rock our world,
Eva and David

David and I are committed to transparency.  It is one of our key values in creating and running CubeSpace.  There are times when there is a significant personal and professional risk in being transparent, and this is one of those times.  But we are being faced with a decision akin to Sophie's Choice, and we would prefer you hear the news from us rather than through the rumor mill.

The very short story is this: Tuesday we were served with a subpoena from our landlord, US Bank, for court order to effectively evict us from our space for non-payment of rent since March. If a judge grants them this action, we will have no choice but to declare bankruptcy, both on behalf of CubeSpace, and almost certainly personally as well. Our court date is Wednesday, and there is a holiday weekend between, which shortens an already tight timeline. We continue to try to work out a solution which is amenable to US Bank and which is workable for us. Based on our efforts to negotiate a solution over the past 10 months, US Bank has made it clear that they are not very interested in our survival. (You will find a more detailed version of our efforts below).
We are reaching out to you, the members of the CubeSpace community, with a glimmer of hope that there is some way to salvage what we have built. If anyone would like to buy a stake in CubeSpace, or even buy CubeSpace outright, now would be the time. We are also open to any other ideas that might avert this catastrophe.
We are in truly desperate straits. It is possible that as of 9AM on Wednesday, May27th, we will be locked out of CubeSpace. We do not believe this to be the most likely outcome, but it is possible. Our timeline is very short, and our options very limited. This is especially frustrating as we are just approaching the point of CubeSpace being self-sustaining financially.  
We are not certain CubeSpace can survive this challenge. We think a bankruptcy claim will make customers adequately nervous that we will not be able to recover financially.  It will also take a lot of time by myself and David. Time that will have to come from managing contracts or managing CubeSpace. Time we simply do not have.

David and I have invested everything we have into CubeSpace: our savings, our investments, our retirement funds, our energy and most of all our hearts.  We are both skilled people and will likely find some way to pay our mortgage.  But the idea of losing CubeSpace and our community is almost more than we can bear. CubeSpace's community was and is more than we could have ever hoped to create.  We are awed by the number of people who shared our vision and we are honored to call you our friends.  You are what kept us going through all of the hard work and financial strain. We could never have gotten this far without you.  

We have no idea what comes next. In the short term, we will continue meeting with lawyers and trying to make impossible decisions.  We will continue to use this blog and twitter for news updates.
For those who would like the fuller story, please continue reading:
The economic downturn hurt us most in the early days of the recession (even before it was officially called a recession).  We did have to do some scrambling, but we communicated with all of the vendors to whom we owed money and made payment arrangements. Generally, the vendors were sympathetic because they were facing similar challenges themselves.

We sent a letter to our landlord, US Bank in August 2008 asking for a rent abatement so that we could get on top on our bills.  We have a 15-year lease with them, and we were under the mistaken impression that they had a stake in us remaining in the space.  They responded in October 2008 with a "no."

We continued struggling along, until February when we had a truly awful month.  We have prioritized paying our employees, taxes and health insurance over everything else. We paid February's rent on the last of our credit cards.  We sent an email to US Bank explaining that we were really out of cash and needed to renegotiate our rent payments. US Bank responded with a letter threatening to come after all of our assets (you know, all of those assets that we sunk into CubeSpace).

In March, we were in the black.  CubeSpace's original model (work and meeting space) were at record levels and the addition of contracting work had made us profitable.  We could even pay partial rent.  David called US Bank's lawyer and proposed a payment plan in which we paid partial rent now, and slowly paid the back rent over the course of our remaining lease.  In other words, we were just asking to rearrange the timing of payments, but they would receive the full amount as agreed to in the original lease. The lawyer said he would speak with the local property manager and get back to us.

We didn't hear back from the bank, but our business continued to grow. We assumed that the bank's lawyers were busy with the TARP funds US Bank had received and managing their own recovery.

Tuesday, May 20, we were served with an FED (Forcible Entry and Detainer), a court action by a landlord to remove a tenant. This was the first response we had received from the Bank since their October 2008 letter.  We are required to appear in Multnomah County Court at 9am on Wednesday, May 27th at 9am.  

We have now spoken with several lawyers who have made our options very clear:
1.    We cross our fingers and hope that the judge recognizes our previous negotiation efforts and requires US Bank to work with us. The alternative is that the judge can direct the Sherriff to lock CubeSpace's door and cut off our access to everything inside. Even other people's property.
2.    We file for Chapter 11 bankrupcy, which prevents us getting locked out, and provides an opportunity for US Bank to either negotiate with us or at the very least, give us time to notify all of our members and return their property. If it turns out the judge is lenient on Wednesday, we don't get to "unfile" the bankrupcy claim.

In gratitude to you all,
Eva & David

Over the last couple of months, I've been hearing more and more folks asking about possible gigs. They ask me this because often Eva and I know about job opportunities, and we love to throw them the way of folks in our extended community. But, there is a problem. The problem is my memory.

My memory is not the most wonderful. I don't have the best memory for names (or faces, for that matter). Most days I remember Eva's name. I get our employees' names right better than 50% of the time. My name--let's just say I have a button that reads, "The face is familiar but I can't quite remember my name." All of which is to say that I'm having a little trouble remembering who is looking for what work. But I have a solution.

The people whom I most often remember when there is work available are those I see day in and day out. Especially those who work out of CubeSpace. Which brings me to my deeply self-serving point. 

If you get a membership at CubeSpace, and hang out here, and are looking for work, I (and Eva) are far more likely to call you when jobs that are a good match for your skills come our way. Just saying.

During Seder last night, Daniel R brought a wonderful sweet matzah kugel. People asked about the recipe, and he emailed it to me for posting. Here it is:

Mango-Banana Matzo
Kugel

Serves 12

8 matzot, broken into small pieces

3 bananas

1 tsp. salt

1 c. sugar

½ c. olive oil

2 tsp. cinnamon

1 1/3 c. walnuts, crushed

2 mangos, chopped

1 c. raisins

1.       Preheat
oven to 350?.

2.       Cover
matzo pieces with cold water.  Let soak
until soft (about 10 minutes).  Drain but
do not squeeze.

3.       Mash
bananas thoroughly.  Whip with salt,
sugar, oil, and cinnamon.

4.       Add
soaked matzot.  Fold in walnuts, mangos,
and raisins until well mixed.

5.       Transfer
to well-oiled 9x13 pan.  Bake uncovered 45
minutes, until lightly browned (to the best you can tell, if your matzot were
well-baked).

I would like to thank @bryanstearns for sharing this picture of our building BC (before CubeSpace).  You will notice that it was a beautiful building before the hideous facade was added.  Lest you think we have not contributed much to Portland, let me assure you that @TiEsQue disagrees.  His commnt upon seeing the photo was: "Amazingly that pic was the day before @cubespacepdx opened. As soon as they hung their shingle the world got modernized."

Just thought you would like to know.  

Generally speaking, to me, holidays are all about the food.  I love the shopping, the food prep, the cooking and the baking.  The one major exception to food-centric pattern is Thanksgiving.  I have a long-standing Thanksgiving tradition that trumps food.  Let me explain how this came to be.

When I was a wee lass living in New York City, Thanksgiving started with a (very) early trek (ok, it was under a mile, but it was early) to Central Park West in the 70’s.  The reason?  To see the inflated and netted balloons, the numerous floats and marching bands all eagerly waiting their turn to start their march in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.   After Santa rolled past us, we would race home to watch the performances in Herald Square on TV.
I still watch the parade on TV (although the awful scripting has been making me cringe more and more), but that is not my favorite tradition.  My favorite tradition happens on the day after Thanksgiving.  But first, a bit of background is necessary.  

There are a handful of movies that I can watch over and over again and always enjoy.  I know the dialogue by heart, I anticipate every move and facial gesture and I can tell you what one misses by not watching the widescreen edition.  In fact, I have a couple of audio tapes that I made of the VHS recording (yes, this was a long time ago…) so that I could listen to the movies on long road trips.  I didn’t need the visuals because I could see them in my mind’s eye.  
There used to be a free cable network that would show a trilogy of my favorite movies every year on the day after Thanksgiving, and every year I would stay home and watch them.  Even though I could watch my own copies of the movies without commercial breaks, I always watched them on TV on that fateful Friday.  I tolerated the commercials because I wanted the communal experience of watching the same movies as millions of other people: kids home from school, their parents, babysitters and families, college students on break, people who took the day off for the long weekend and anyone else who happened to catch them on TV.

Now that we have CubeSpace, I no longer watch these movies on TV (to be honest, I don’t even know if this particular network still exists or whether they still show this particularly trilogy on the day after Thanksgiving).  But I still get the communal experience through our annual movie marathon. We invite anyone and everyone from our community at large to bring their leftovers, their knitting (crocheting, embroidery, tatting or anything else that one dos while watching movies) to watch these movies with us.  

Some of the people who generally show up are geeks like me and know the movies verbatim.  Other folks are the patient family members who tolerate this particular oddity of their loves ones.  And then there are just those seeking some company and free entertainment that does not involve traffic jams, malls or sales that start at obscene hours.  
We invite you to come join us starting at 10am on Friday.  We will be running through the movies in order, so feel free to come by at any time.  Want more details?  Give us a call at 503-206-3500 or send us an email at info@CubeSpacePDX.com.  

David and I have been focused on community a lot lately.  Communities come together to celebrate and to support each other in challenging times, and there have been opportunities for both lately.  

On the celebration side, David spoke at Ignite Portland 4. I was a bit overwhelmed by the last Ignite (most likely because I was doing a presentation of my own).  But this time I was free to wander the aisles and check in with my tweeps (as well as the people with whom I primarily engage in (gasp!) face-to-face communication.  

On the challenging side, we have a relatively new community members is facing some fairly scary legal issues and is doing so far removed from what has always ben her core support network.  But, I am proud to say, our community has stepped up to give her a hand with offers of everything from an unlocked cellphone, a place to crash that is not an hour plus from Portland, a ride to her hearing tomorrow, pledges of cash and offers of general assistance.  

It has not been my experience that folks brand new to any community are adopted so quickly and easily.  It makes me very proud to live, work and hang-out with the community that I have met through or because of CubeSpace.  

But, community is something that needs to be actively maintained, and Chris O'Rourke has instigated an effort for us to get to know each other better.  Chris had participated in an interview experiment a few months back, and thought it might be a great way to encourage us to talk about topics that might not otherwise come up.  I signed up and I am looking forward to being interviewed by Melissa Lion, who just gave a great presentation on narrative structure for blogs.  David brought home her books from the library, and I have read Swollen, and am waiting for him to finish Upstream, so that I can read it.  

I get to interview Kelly (aka @Verso & Banana Lee Fishbones), which should be very entertaining.  I run into Kelly with great frequency, but she is a popular woman with many folks vying for her attention, and that makes it hard for me to get to know her well.  From our interactions, both in real life and on the twitterverse, I know that she is a True Star Wars Fan (as defined by me), loves yarn (even though she crochets more than knits), enjoys bowling (as do I and we are suckage sisters, together) and her IPhone.  I also know that she is well-loved and respected in our community,  and that alone is enough to make me excited at the prospect of getting to interview her.  

Stay tuned for the interview write-up.  Interested in joining the interview experiement?  You can check it out here: http://cdcstudios.com/2008/11/16/the-great-portland-interview-experiment/